Britain is regarded as a nation of ugly, well-mannered tea drinkers with pale skin and dreadful teeth, if Google search data released by a London tourism company is to be believed.
A firm called The Original Tour Company has collected together some of the most popular questions people ask Google about the UK.
It claimed the one thing Germans want to know is: ‘Why are the British so ugly?’
Which is a bit rich for a nation which reveres David Hasselhoff and calls a butterfly ‘ein schmetterling‘.
Spanish people often wonder why our teeth are so bad while Turkish folk wonder why we’re so cold, the Canadians question why we’re miserable and the French lambast us for boozing too much.
Another infographic revealed the questions we ask about other European countries, which include the perennial query about why Germany is so good at football, why France is so expensive and why the English are so disliked.
We also asked why Ireland hates U2 and questioned why Iceland smells of eggs – which we assume is not a claim taken from the island nation’s own tourist material.
On Reddit, The Original Tour Company has been lambasted for its bizarre decision to collect negative statements about Britain.
‘It’s a rigour-light, PR-friendly infographic to promote something no local will use,’ one man raged.
‘In short, I reckon it’s utter marketing bollocks and can fuck off.’
The infographic sparked a good deal of debate on Reddit as foreign people waded in for a good old bit of digital argy-bargy – which is something of an IRL tradition in the pubs, kebab houses and rain-soaked high streets of booze-crazed Blighty.
One cruel person hit back by saying some Germans resemble ‘potatoes with eyes’, while another wrote: ‘European stereotypes for Brits are pretty hilarious. We’re basically cave dwelling orcs who still exceed them in most capacities.’
A Portuguese man decided to let us into a little secret about what his nation thought of the UK and wrote: ‘We call you bifes (steaks) because when you come here you get sunburned and turn bright red.’
To which one British person replied: ‘Steaks don’t go red when well done!’
There was also some discussion about whether British food was actually as bad as the world seemed to think.
‘They’re not wrong,’ wrote one Reddit user with an icon of Phil Mitchell as his avatar.
‘Compared to Thai food, British food is diabolical.’
This slight was too much for a chap whose own avatar featured a portrait of Ainsley Harriot.
‘I’ll take a roast dinner over boiled coconut water with chicken and overcooked rice any day,’ he raged.
But all this subtle and witty debate wasn’t doing it for another bloke whose username was decorated with a Union Jack.
‘Thailand can go eat a spotted dick,’ he wrote.
That’s the name of one of our rather tasty desserts, just in case you’re not from these parts.