{"id":41102,"date":"2017-12-19T07:43:23","date_gmt":"2017-12-19T07:43:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bnreport.com\/op-ed-chill-out-everybody-star-wars-has-always-been-for-kids\/"},"modified":"2017-12-19T07:43:23","modified_gmt":"2017-12-19T07:43:23","slug":"op-ed-chill-out-everybody-star-wars-has-always-been-for-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bnreport.com\/en\/op-ed-chill-out-everybody-star-wars-has-always-been-for-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Op-ed: Chill out, everybody\u2014Star Wars has always been for kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure><figcaption><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/ars-falcon-crew.jpg\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Enlarge<\/a>\/ I will jump at literally any chance to use this picture, which shows off Aurich&#039;s fine photochop skills. From left to right is Peter Bright, Lee Hutchinson, Jonathan Gitlin, and Kyle Orland.Disney \/ Aurich Lawson<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This Star Wars-related op-ed does <em>not<\/em> contain any spoilers for <em>The Last Jedi<\/em>, other than a mention or two about porgs. It does, however, have some spoilers for the rest of the mainline series and possibly <em>Rogue One<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>A few years ago, when Disney acquired the rights to Star Wars, one of the first things the House of Mouse did was to throw the almost-wholly-execrable Expanded Universe <a href=\"https:\/\/arstechnica.com\/gadgets\/2014\/01\/op-ed-disney-takes-a-chainsaw-to-the-star-wars-expanded-universe\/\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">into the garbage chute<\/a>. With the stroke of a pen, tens of thousands of pages of what was effectively fan fiction (and written like it) became dianoga chow\u2014and good riddance. The <a href=\"https:\/\/moviepilot.com\/posts\/4003025\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">tiny portions of the EU worth saving<\/a>\u2014mostly culled from the work of Timothy Zahn, maybe with a bit of Stackpole tossed in for flavor\u2014were given new life in the redefined canon, but jettisoning the rest of it was a necessary step. It removed a giant calcified tumor from the Star Wars universe\u2019s colon, and doing so gave Disney the latitude it needed in order to tell its own stories without having to fact check everything on <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Mitth%27raw%27nuruodo\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Wookiepedia<\/a> first.<\/p>\n<p>But for older folks who grew up with Star Wars\u2014particularly us GenX-ers and proto-Millennials born in the late &#039;70s and early &#039;80s who experienced the movies for the first time as very young kids\u2014it signaled something more ominous. When Obi-Wan decided to train Anakin, it was with the expectation that he would bring balance to the Force, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=QiZNSzWIaLo\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">not leave it in darkness<\/a> (though maybe Obi-Wan should have thought through <em>all<\/em> the possible implications of what \u201cbalance\u201d could mean in that context). Similarly, when Disney bought the franchise, the dumping of the EU was the first sign that Disney might not be out to \u201csave\u201d Star Wars\u2014at least, not how we\u2019d prefer it to be saved. In fact, by jettisoning the EU, Disney looked like it might have been about to <em>ruin<\/em> Star Wars for us. And how dare they? Star Wars was <em>ours!<\/em><\/p>\n<figure><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/dianoga-main-image_0cfe282b.jpeg\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"&quot;I HUNGER FOR GARBAGE! FEED ME KEVIN J. ANDERSON\u00a0NOVELS!&quot;\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/dianoga-main-image_0cfe282b-640x273.jpeg\"\/><\/a><figcaption><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/dianoga-main-image_0cfe282b.jpeg\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Enlarge<\/a>\/ &quot;I HUNGER FOR GARBAGE! FEED ME KEVIN J. ANDERSON NOVELS!&quot;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.starwars.com\/databank\/dianoga\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Disney \/ StarWars.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>But it isn\u2019t\u2014not anymore, at least, because we kids who grew up as Star Wars fans have forgotten who Star Wars is <em>really<\/em> for. When we were little, it used to be for us. It\u2019s not anymore. We grew up and, though our tastes in entertainment naturally evolve as we get older, Star Wars doesn\u2019t. We grew up and left it behind, but Star Wars is a constant and unchanging companion. It\u2019s just as true to its fans as it always was\u2014we\u2019re just not the right fans.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t believe me? Let\u2019s run the numbers.<\/p>\n<h2>1. <em>Star Wars<\/em> has always been for families and kids<\/h2>\n<p>I can point to the exact thing that made me realized that Star Wars wasn\u2019t meant for me anymore. On an afternoon in early November 2012, I watched this short Youtube video:<\/p>\n<figure><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"980\" height=\"550\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/xSw9-g4-AOo?version=3&amp;rel=1&amp;fs=1&amp;autohide=2&amp;showsearch=0&amp;showinfo=1&amp;iv_load_policy=1&amp;wmode=transparent\"><\/iframe>[contfnewc] <\/p>\n<p>If you can\u2019t see it or don\u2019t want to click on a video at work, I\u2019ll summarize: it\u2019s a video of two 10-year olds <em>losing their effing minds<\/em> after reading the <em>Episode 7<\/em> release announcement.<\/p>\n<p>It was perplexing\u2014at least at first. I found myself thinking, \u201cWhat the hell? These kids are way too young to <em>get<\/em> what Star Wars means. How can they <em>really<\/em> appreciate the series without the backstory, the grandeur, all the scaffolding of trivia and inside knowledge and backstage tales I\u2019ve built over the decades in my head to prop up this great story? They\u2019re just stupid kids! They probably watch that lame-ass <em>Clone Wars<\/em> CGI cartoon and think <em>THAT\u2019S<\/em> what Star Wars really is!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But that\u2019s the thing. That <em>is<\/em> what Star Wars really is. It\u2019s entertainment for your kids to enjoy or for you to enjoy with them. The fact that at least two generations of people fetishize the movies and want them to be something deeply meaningful and adult-serious\u2014and the current round of whinging about the kid-friendly elements in the prequel trilogy\u2014doesn\u2019t change the fact that if you\u2019re looking for a grown-up, logically consistent, fully adult Star Wars film\u2026 you\u2019re going to be looking for a long time, because it doesn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n<p>This isn\u2019t Ridley Scott or Stanley Kubrick. This is George Lucas and those who follow in his footsteps. Star Wars started out basically as retro-movie fanfic written by a film-school student who grew up loving cinema in all its aspects both glorious and dumb, and that origin is baked into the series\u2019 structure.<!--more--><\/p>\n<h2>2. Corny is an inherent part of <em>Star Wars<\/em><\/h2>\n<p>This is an outgrowth of the first point\u2014Star Wars has a massive element of camp to it. Recall tat <em>Return of the Jedi<\/em> contains <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8ebjptd6Kgo\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><em>an actual dance number<\/em><\/a> (which got updated and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=2jzZOgLH4KU\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">shoved into our faces even harder<\/a> in the special edition). Episode 1 has fart and poop jokes, along with the Gungans, which I\u2019m just not even going to <em>try<\/em> to get into. All of the films contain at least a few brief slapstick or physical comedy moments; several have <em>a lot more<\/em> than that.<\/p>\n<figure><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/givethemanahand.jpg\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Better &lt;em&gt;arm&lt;\/em&gt; yourself, Luke. This situation is about to get out of &lt;em&gt;hand&lt;\/em&gt;.\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/givethemanahand-640x269.jpg\"\/><\/a><figcaption><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/givethemanahand.jpg\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Enlarge<\/a>\/ Better <em>arm<\/em> yourself, Luke. This situation is about to get out of <em>hand<\/em>.Disney<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>The corn and cheese pervades all aspects of the movies. I\u2019m not saying that\u2019s a <em>bad<\/em> thing\u2014but it is a thing. In Star Wars, getting an extremity sliced off in combat is a (usually) bloodless affair that qualifies as little more than a minor flesh wound. (And, yes, I\u2019m fully aware that the in-universe explanation for the typical lack of blood from a lightsaber or blaster wound is cauterization due to the heat from the blade or bolt\u2014but the <em>real<\/em> reason is that PG rating.) A modern heavy mechanized infantry with fast cavalry support gets shellacked by a stone-age tribe of sentient rat-monkeys. At least four of the movies end with some variation on \u201cone person flies a fighter into the Giant Bad Guy Thing and blows it up.\u201d <em>Rogue One<\/em> has a blind priest who beats up heavily armed blaster-wielding opponents <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Miyamoto_Musashi\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">with a stick<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And, of course, the corniest thing of all: the fat X-Wing pilot is named \u201cPorkins.\u201d I mean\u2026 come on.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"RIP Jek Porkins. If you\u2019re sad he\u2019s dead, you can read his fictional backstory on &lt;a href=&quot;http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Jek_Tono_Porkins\/Legends&quot;&gt;Wookiepedia&lt;\/a&gt;. Apparently he was a pretty good pilot.\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/a22222s.jpg\"\/><figcaption>RIP Jek Porkins. If you\u2019re sad he\u2019s dead, you can read his fictional backstory on <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Jek_Tono_Porkins\/Legends\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Wookiepedia<\/a>. Apparently he was a pretty good pilot.Disney<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2>3. Fun (almost) <em>always<\/em> beats boring dumb reality<\/h2>\n<p><em>The Phantom Menace\u2019s<\/em> opening crawl talked about trade disputes and blockades, like a recap of a particularly boring CSPAN broadcast. However, as evidenced by the entire rest of the movie, none of that trade crap mattered\u2014there were weird bad guys to kill and it was time to race some pods. The Clone Wars are never really given more than a passing explanation (some rando Jedi named <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Sifo-Dyas\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Sifo-Dyas<\/a> ordered some clones, and then Obi-Wan found them and was like \u201cCool, I guess we have a clone army now\u201d). Meanwhile, Count Dookoo (really? that was the best name we could think of for Sir Christopher Lee?) has some politics or something that don\u2019t matter, and so on and so on.<\/p>\n<figure><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/holocaust.png\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"&quot;Celebrate the Love?&quot; Not for long you won\u2019t.\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/holocaust-640x272.png\"\/><\/a><figcaption><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/holocaust.png\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Enlarge<\/a>\/ &quot;Celebrate the Love?&quot; Not for long you won\u2019t.Disney<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Though, even as I\u2019m writing this up, I find I\u2019m slipping into the same frame of mind as the people I\u2019m accusing of making too big a deal of Star Wars. \u201cDookoo\u201d is a fun name! It\u2019s certainly fun to say. It sounds like \u201cdookey.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>How does hyperspace work? There\u2019s an EU explanation, I\u2019m sure, but who really cares? It works however the plot needs it to work. How can Yoda sense the dark side, but not sense Palpatine\u2019s intentions? Because plot. How can no one tell Anakin is turning bad? Because plot. Why does Padme die? Because plot.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, if we\u2019re looking for the best possible example of why we should repeat to ourselves that it\u2019s just a movie and relax, look no farther than the papering over of the greatest environmental disaster in the history of the galaxy: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theforce.net\/swtc\/holocaust.html\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">the Endor Holocaust<\/a>. Because hypermatter can\u2019t melt steel trees. Or something.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/blockads.fivefilters.org\/\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/blockads.fivefilters.org\/acceptable.html\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/arstechnica.com\/?p=1234205\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Original Article<\/a><\/p>\n<p> [contf] [contfnew]         <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.arstechnica.net\/wp-content\/themes\/ars\/assets\/img\/material-ars-db41652381.png\"\/> <\/p>\n<h5><a href=\"https:\/\/arstechnica.com\/\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Ars Technica<\/a><\/h5>\n<p> [contfnewc] [contfnewc] <\/p>\n<p>The post <a href=\"http:\/\/newswirenow.co.uk\/2017\/12\/19\/op-ed-chill-out-everybody-star-wars-has-always-been-for-kids\/\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Op-ed: Chill out, everybody\u2014Star Wars has always been for kids<\/a> appeared first on <a href=\"http:\/\/newswirenow.co.uk\/\" rel=\"noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">News Wire Now<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Enlarge\/ I will jump at literally any chance to use this pic..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41103,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tech"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - 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